Sweet Dreams are Made of This

[Colibri]

Sweet Dreams are Made of This by Emily Browning

Mouse slept fitfully, curled in on herself on the grey-piled floor of her cabin. Colibri had still been asleep when she returned from medical and the restless pacing of the habs that came after, so she'd taken a quick shower to get the bioroid blood off and lain down to try and get some rest. Not wanting to disturb Colibri, especially with Col already mad at her, Mouse had grabbed a pillow and her spare blanket and curled up on the carpet, years of sleeping in far less pleasant places inuring her to any discomfort from laying on the floor. She hadn't actually expected to drift off so quickly, but whatever she'd done in Medical had really taken it out of her.

Dark.

Cold.

Laughter, the drunken, raspy voices of miners and ore haulers.

The clink of metal, coins or bars being exchanged and another laugh, uglier this time.

The sound that she dreaded most, a key in an old, heavy lock, the creak of hinges...

"Liiiiiittle Mooooooouuuuuuuse!"

The nightmare was always the same. Sometimes she'd have it three or four nights in a row, sometimes she'd go six months without having it at all. It always started the same way, in the dark. Mouse feared the dark. Powerlessness, despair, pain, loss...everything she hated about her past was wrapped up in simple darkness.

They'd always kept her chained in the dark.

Mouse moaned in fright and horror, both in her nightmare and out. He was coming, he and all his friends. The one that Colibri would save her from, but Colibri wasn't there now, and Mouse was all alone, her wrists chained above her head on a plastic cot, strung up like a side of meat. He was coming, and he would bring his friends, and they would call her "Little Mouse" and they would touch her and use her and beat her, and then they laugh and when she was just a sobbing wreck, they'd leave her in the dark again.

"Little Mouse, little Mouse, its time to plaaaaaaay!"

Footsteps, getting closer now. Three or four of them, reeking of booze and smoke and oil.

Cruel, drunken laughter surrounded her. Hot, rank breath brushed her skin closely followed by rough, dirty hands. Mouse whimpered, her eyes clamping shut and her throat tightening as her body twitched away from the disgusting, unwelcome touch. Not again, she begged silently, Please! Not again!

There was a wet ripping sound and, as if acquiescing to her plea, the touching stopped.

When she looked up, the man that had first reached out to her was looking in horror and surprise at a pitch black tendril sticking out of his chest. The tendril moved, pushing further out of his chest before whipping back and shooting through his throat. The others surrounding the plastic cot soon received a similar treatment, pitch black vines weaving their way through their bodies and pulling them all back simultaneously to slam against the walls of the little room before releasing them to fall limply to the floor.

There was the light brushing sound of bare feet, and a woman appeared in the doorway.

Full, auburn hair tumbled down her naked form in waves to her waist and over her shoulders, the dark color in strong contrast to her soft, pale skin. She was breathtaking and nearly ethereal in her beauty, giving off a warmth and calm as she stood there, yet, somehow, she was also terrifying.

The woman moved over to Mouse, her almond-shaped eyes holding a promise of comfort and a slender hand reaching out to gently brush over the frightened girl's cheek as she leaned over her. “You poor thing,” she crooned, her voice as soft and rich as velvet and flowing past full lips as red as blood. “They've really done some horrible things to you, haven't they?”

Those delicate fingers reached out again, this time toward the shackles and manacles that bound the girl, and the metal shattered with a touch.

Mouse drew back with a cry of surprise, scrabbling back along the cot until her shoulders were pressed against the cold, rough metal of the wall. Her eyes darted from the woman to the corpses to the door and back like a frightened animal's, and her breathing was rapid. She drew up her knees, crossing her ankles and hugging her legs to cover her own nakedness, which seemed shameful and somehow pitiful next to the majesty of the woman before her. She stared, wondering if this was some cruel trick, a psion's special form of torture, or if this woman had truly spared her. Finally, she tried her voice, and while it came out rusty with disuse and as high as her namesake's squeals, she managed to get out, "W-who are you?"

The woman's smile was slow and soft, though did not reach her eyes. “My name is of no importance, at this time. Simply know that I am not here to harm you. Now,” she said, stepping closer and reaching out a slender hand, “come. This is no place for you.”

Mouse's eyes widened. She would...take her away from all this? Wonder-filled eyes looked down to the offered hand, hesitating only a moment before placing her own, small, dirty palm upon the woman's pale fingers. She was pulled up and off the cot to stand on the floor, but when she stepped down, she was no longer in that drab, dark place.

Soft earth padded the ground beneath her feet. Sweet, clear wind whipped at her hair carrying the scent of the wild flowers that now surrounded them. And Mouse realized she was clean...and dressed, her previously naked form now covered by a beautiful, yet simple, white dress that fluttered in the wind along with her hair.

Mouse blinked, the nightmare-scape falling away and with it the all-consuming fear that made her little better than an animal. When the breeze fluttered her dress she started and almost fell, looking at herself in wonder. The dream-self was dissipating, like mist in the sun but even were Mouse completely rational she wouldn't have been able to speak as she looked around. Earth, light, clean air...this was an Earth of a long time ago. Nowhere like this existed anymore, except in stories, and Mouse's eyes were wide as she drank in a sight she'd fantasized about but never expected to see.

Slowly, carefully, as if afraid she might shatter the pristine, virgin paradise if she moved too quickly, she turned to the radiant woman who had brought her up out of bondage to this place. "What..." she started, then shook her head and tried again. "Why m- where are we?"

“A memory,” the woman answered simply, her hands coming up from her sides slightly in a light shrug, as if this were nothing special. “Though, mine, this time, instead of yours.”

While Mouse had been dressed, the woman remained bare, the wind playing with the auburn locks and sending it curling in rivulets around her arms and body.

“As for 'why you'...” the woman gave an amused smile, moving fluidly over to Mouse and raising a hand to gently grasp her chin in thumb and forefinger, yellow-orange eyes capturing her gaze. “Do I not seem...familiar, little Myshka?” When the woman spoke her name, it was with a flawless, yet ancient, Russian accent, and suddenly that feeling of confident, powerful calm she had felt briefly in the infirmary returned to her.

"Oh, Gods Below." Mouse whispered as dream gave way to memory, childlike fear to present uncertainty. "You're real!" She squeaked. "You're here, this isn't a dream!" Mouse moved as if to step back, but the woman's gentle touch on her face might as well have been an iron maiden for all that Mouse could actually tear herself away. It wasn't a compulsion, and the woman wasn't physically restraining her, but all the same, Mouse could not bring herself to take that first step of retreat. Something inside her had to know, as she always had to know about the world around her. Why she was here, why this woman had come to her, why now.

Mouse stopped fighting herself and relaxed, and when she got the urge to reach up to touch the slim fingers at her chin, she gave it its head and trailed her own light touch over the woman's hand and wrist before blinking slowly. "You gave me...what? Power?" Mouse tilted her head slowly, careful not to disturb the hand on her face, though she wouldn't have said that was why she moved with such deliberate care. She looked around the green-on-brown-under-blue perfection beyond the woman, then grey eyes met orange and she said simply, "Thank you. For all of this."

Plump lips pulled up into a hint of a wickedly delighted smile. 'Gods Below,' she had said. How...fitting. “My, my. Thanking me so early on.” The woman pulled away, giving another light shrug, “But, I suppose it is understandable, with everything you've been through.” She turned away, then, stepping lightly through the flowers and tall grass to a tree that stood behind Mouse, sweet, white blossoms covering its branches.

The woman reached up and grasped a lower hanging bough, fingers tracing lightly over the delicate petals. “As for what I have given you...yes, power, in a sense. Though it is more that you have borrowed it.” She paused, releasing the branch and folding one arm under her breasts to support the elbow of the other arm as the back of her forefinger pressed lightly against her lips in thought. “No...that isn't quite it, either. I had been the one using the power,” she continued, turning back around to face Mouse, the hand at her lips sliding down to rest at her other elbow, “you had simply been the conduit. However, you may borrow it if and when you wish. Though, I must warn you,” the woman made her way closer to the silver-haired girl once more, her expression serious, “it is unlike anything you have ever used. It is easy to overcompensate and end up doing more than anticipated.”

"I don't understand." Mouse blurted out, then blushed almost exactly the same color as Colibri's hair. Damn it, she was supposed to be the quiet one! Always reserved and sarcastic, not whatever this was! Something about this woman made her feel more anxious and off-balance than she had since her childhood, even more than Colibri did on the rare occasions where Col was being unreservedly sweet. The initial kindness of saving Mouse from her nightmare had put her off balance as, Mouse suspected, it was meant to, but knowing didn't lessen its impact one bit now that she was able to think freely. Her nudity was disarming too, though the nonthreatening nature of it was somewhat diminished by the carnage of her initial appearance. Then there were the tone, the place, the light touches, and the use of her name, and even dispassionate examination of the situation couldn't keep Mouse from being charmed, curious, nervous, and grateful all at once.

Now the woman seemed to be offering her power, like some kind of devil in a children's parable. Mouse half-expected her to be holding a scroll bearing a contract and a quill dipped in human blood, but when she looked back at the woman, she held nothing but herself. She seemed harmless and pleasant, but there was steel at her core and Mouse had the uncharacteristic urge to prostrate herself in front of her guide.

Instead, Mouse just nodded and replied, "Of course it is. No fairytale is complete with some way for the heroine's greed to undo her, right?" Her voice held barely a trace of her usual sarcasm, and Mouse couldn't entirely keep her voice from quavering as she said, "I still don't understand. I don't even know what you are, or what to call you. And I still want to know why."

The woman's serious expression pulled up into an adoringly amused smirk seeming on the edge of laughter, one you would expect to see on someone who was watching a puppy pounce on their shoe. “I would hardly expect it to be enough to undo you, lest you were reckless with it. And besides,” she added, swaying past Mouse to move further into the field of flowers, “my time here will be temporary...even by your standards.”

Mouse watched her go. With her rich red hair, pale skin, and breathtakingly lovely form she could have been a dead ringer for Colibri, and Mouse watched the smooth interplay of the slim muscles of her shoulders, back, hips and thighs under skin that begged to be touched and stroked and worshiped. She was mesmerizing in the simple grace she exhibited, and it was only after several long moments that Mouse could muster the willpwer to remind herself that whoever this woman was, she was not Colibri, despite the similarity in their appearances and their penchant for saving one shopworn silver-haired girl.

Mouse turned to follow the woman, her dress floating about her thighs. The field of flowers was awash in color, bright oranges and yellows mixed with deep indigo and blue, and the scent of the field was heady and all-pervasive, a sweet, intoxicating brew, opium poppies fit only for a dream over the rich smell of damp earth and the sharp, clean scent of wet grass, the latter of which tickled her bare feet.

"I still-" Mouse's hands came together at her waist, the fingertips of her left hand picking at the nails of her right in a purely reflexive gesture of nervousness. "Miss, I am thankful for what you did, truly I am, but I'm confused." She stepped more quickly, trying to catch up to the nameless woman and when she did, she reached out to touch the redhead's shoulder, then shivered with sensate delight as she found that the woman's skin was as perfect as it appeared. Pulling her hand away quickly, Mouse went back to picking as she said diffidently, "I don't want to seem ungrateful. I just don't know what any of this is, or what you're talking about. Why will your time be short? What do you mean by 'undo' me?"

The woman felt the touch, as well as the reaction, and it caused a small, sly smile. When she turned to look at Mouse, however, she had a raised brow and questioning look. “That word was yours, little Mishka, not mine. I was simply using the example you gave.” The woman turned fully toward her, “And you hardly seem ungrateful, milaya. However, gratitude is not a concern of mine.

“You are, I am a little ashamed to admit...a stepping stone. I will not be long here, in your mind, for once I get a better grasp on the customs and new mechanics of this...place, my presence here will no longer be necessary.” Yes...'place' was the proper term. This place was a different dimension than where she had previously been, however this was also a different time than she was used to in this particular plane, as well. Human terms were all so difficult, at times, so inefficient.

Mouse nodded slowly as the pieces began to fit into place. "So you're like a parasite?" She asked softly, then clapped her hand over her mouth. The woman simply smiled. Blushing and looking down at her bare feet, grass thrusting up between her toes, Mouse murmured, "I'm sorry, ma'am. I meant no offense." She caught the corner of her lip between two teeth and went back to picking at her nails, switching hands this time as she continued, "You're using me as a host, or a carrier I guess." Her eyes flicked up for a second and Mouse added, "The medbay, the strength as those marines died. That was you."

Mouse cast her gaze down again. She felt like she should be bothered, but she wasn't. Maybe it was just her acceptance that people did what they had to in order to survive. She and Colibri had used others just as harshly, and so far this woman had been perfectly pleasant. Looking around, Mouse wondered at what she now knew and what she thought she knew and considered the field of poppies. Could some sort of parasite really be in her head, or was she just losing her mind? And if it really was there, would it be so bad? Would some kind of monster create a landscape like this field of perfumed, painted beauty? Would it talk to her calmly, save her from her nightmares?

And if it would, would it really be so bad to be its host?

"I wouldn't have known if you hadn't brought me here. I thought it was just something about them, something from the ship that changed them and killed them." Mouse told the woman honestly. "You could have stayed hidden. Why didn't you?"

“Because you would have figured something out, sooner or later. You're sharp, milaya,” the woman said, a hand reaching out to gently slip over Mouse's cheek and cup her jaw, “you notice things, you question things, including about yourself. If you had been like most who just blindly go about their day, I would have stayed hidden...but not with you.” A sly smile tugged at her lips, a look that held a hint of sensuousness.

She pulled away, then, moving to circle Mouse as she spoke. “I've only spent a very short time with you, Myshka, but I can already see that you would have searched. You would have prodded until you found some sort of answer...” the woman paused behind Mouse, placing a hand on her shoulder and bending to speak quietly into her ear, “Or you would have gone completely insane...” There was the flash of a smile out of Mouse's vision, and then it was gone.

The woman had turned away, then, stooping to pluck a poppy and study it with a sort of bored interest before straightening and placing it in Mouse's hair, “It was simply easier to introduce myself to you, no matter the outcome.”

Mouse felt a rush of pride at being called "sharp" and she felt her cheeks heat at the compliment. She was confident in her own abilities, and she certainly thought that she was no mere bumbling idiot, but it had been so long since she had outside validation of anything other than her modest skills in bed after a tryst with Colibri or her prowess with a rifle in the thick of battle that even the passing, backhanded praise drew a flush and an averted gaze.

Mouse bobbed her head in wordless acknowledgment, studying the poppies. When she glanced back up, her flush deepened as the woman's pouting lips curved into a smile that drew the eye, and when she whispered in Mouse's ear, the hair on the back of the young woman's neck stood straight up and her skin stippled with gooseflesh. Even Colibri would have been hard-pressed to have such an effect on Mouse with all their baggage, and some small corner of her mind gibbered in naked terror that something inside her head could manipulate her so easily.

Mouse touched the poppy in her hair and nodded again. "You are right, ma'am." She admitted. "I don't like not knowing something, especially about myself." She looked around the field of poppies and idly toyed with a fold of her dress as she considered her next words. Smitten and off-balance and overawed as Mouse might be, she wasn't blind to the fact that this woman was skipping a lot of details, ignoring a lot of questions and she didn't want to simply ask another to which she would get no answer, but as the woman herself pointed out, she had to poke and prod at any situation she was caught in.

"Ma'am, I think this would be somewhat easier if you told me what you need to use me as a 'stepping stone.'" Mouse said slowly. "I am grateful for you saving me from my nightmares, and extending the trust to me that you have by disclosing what you would," Mouse started picking at her nails again, suddenly nervous, "but I don't want to keep you trapped unnecessarily."

The woman's chest swelled slightly as she smiled, a look of delight that held a small glimmer of something not entirely pleasant. But her expression quickly softened, the breath she took in releasing slowly. “My, you are a kind little creature, aren't you? I do appreciate the concern, though it is not entirely necessary. However, if you do wish to help me...” the woman paused, her features taking on a look of concern and consideration, “...no, I shouldn't worry you with that.”

She reached out again, trailing fingertips over Mouse's jaw and down her neck as she leaned in closer. “There will possibly be a time when I require your aide, but know that I will call upon you for it, then. Concern yourself no more, for now. There will be time enough to answer questions.”

Mouse turned into the touch, and it was obvious that it wasn't a calculated gesture on her part. Her eyes half-closed for a second as the woman's soft fingertips drifted down the fall line of her throat, and then she realized how she must look and her blush gained even more intensity, until her cheeks felt like they must have been glowing. Again there was that little, embarrassed bob of her head, but this time it was accompanied by a small frown.

"Ma'am, you are a...a guest, I suppose, and I want to be a good hostess." Mouse said while staring down at her toes. "You can feel free to worry me as much as you like. If I cannot- or will not- help, I can always say no." Mouse's eyes flicked up again and she smiled more naturally. "It seems the least I can do for you showing me all of this, and humoring me with what must seem like very stupid questions."

The woman gave a softly amused smile and a slow shake of her head, “Hardly anything of the sort. This is unfamiliar territory, and it is understandable that you should want to explore it. Even so, it is best to take one's time in such things and, while it may be somewhat short, time we do have. So, enjoy this time. Take it for what you will. For those things that inhabited your mind before this will return once I am gone.”

"You mean the nightmares." Mouse half-whispered. "I'm going to go back?" She began to tremble, the euphoria of her rescue at this woman's hands vanishing, replaced by bone-deep terror. Usually she didn't remember her nightmares too well, and that was a good thing, but tonight she was afraid that it would have the same clarity as this vision.

And with Colibri mad at her she would have to face them alone.

Mouse's shaking intensified and she shook her head in denial. "Please, no, I don't want to go back, please don't make me go back." She whispered. "I don't want to be alone in the dark again..."

“Shhh,” the woman hushed, leaning in to press her lips gently against Mouse's forehead in a comforting gesture, though her eyes smiled with a wicked delight outside of the girl's vision. “I simply said 'when I am gone',” she assured, pulling back enough to capture the other's gaze. “That time has not yet been determined. For now, I will be with you. For now, you may join me in my memories and explore the Earth as it once was. And though I cannot save you from the horrors of the waking world, I do hope you will join me here, from time to time...”

Mouse froze, then relaxed as the meaning of the woman's words sank in. She didn't mean right now, thank Below, and Mouse had to fight the urge to embrace her unlikely savior as a palpable wave of relief washed over her. Instead, she nodded and replied, "Absolutely. This is beautiful, a quality hard to come by in space." She looked around at the field of flowers again and was suddenly sad. She wished Colibri were here to see it. She wished she didn't upset Col so often. Sighing, she turned back to the woman and told her, "Anything you wish to show me I am glad to see. I have nothing but time right now, with the ship's crew wary of me, the Felicias dead, and my friend cross with me. If you call, I'll come." She smiled, an expression tinged with sorrow. "That's why I ask if there's anything I can do. I like helping, being useful, and I fear my use is running out elsewhere."

The woman gave a slow smile, “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Both hands came up, this time, cupping either side of Mouse’s jaw, finger slipping into her hair, her lips tantalizingly close to Mouse’s own as she spoke quietly, “You are much more useful than you think.”

Mouse drew a single deep, shuddering breath, and it caught in her throat as the woman’s fingers traced her face and slipped into the feathery mass of her grey hair. She trembled under the other’s touch, a combination of fear, anticipation, excitement, and simple nerves, but still she turned into the touches, and her great grey eyes fluttered closed as she absorbed the simple pleasure of being gently touched. She was only an inch away now and her body couldn't decide whether to fling itself away or collapse forward and cross those last few inches. She could feel the woman’s breath on her lips she was so close, and Mouse only managed a small, high, "R-really? I don't understand..." before falling silent, licking her lips and her hands shaking at her sides as she fought a number of conflicting urges.

The strange woman smiled wickedly, finally flashing prefect, pearly white teeth with canines that seemed a little longer than they really should be. “I must say, I’m quite impressed, little Myshka,” she mused, her voice taking on a dark amusement. “Most would have given in to their baser desires, by now. Far earlier, in fact. You must have quite the stamina of will.” The fingers in Mouse’s hair slithered along her jaw and then down her neck, “But, really, don’t hold back on my account. I did say to enjoy what time I have here. So feel free to do as you wish…”

Mouse's eyes went wide, flicking to meet the woman's golden orbs and her entire body tensed as hints and signals became naked invitation. Her breathing sped up as fingers closed around her neck, but her shaking only intensified and she suddenly had to blink back tears. Mouse didn't want to betray Colibri, didn't want to "cheat." She hadn't taken a lover of her own in years, since she realized she was hopelessly in love with her best friend. But this woman was so beautiful and warm and willing and not demanding! With her invitation, Mouse suddenly craved the physical pleasure of sex in a way that she hadn't in a long time, never wanting it more than the pain it caused. But now her entire body was aching to be touched, caressed, brutalized, anything that brought her closer to the woman who had brought her here, and she didn't even remember where to begin! Her voice quivered as she started, "I don't..." but trailed off as the other woman's fingers slid across skin and hair and she closed her eyes again, unsure of what to do but unwilling- and unable- to turn away.

There was a breathy chuckle from the woman, though the sound was more condescending than amused. “So brave and bold...and yet, when it comes to this…” The woman straightened, walking around Mouse once more, though this time trailing her hand over her shoulders and back before stopping to gather the Russian’s hair in her fingers at the base of her neck.

The woman’s free hand came to slide over Mouse’s waist and hip from behind her and she once again bent to whisper in her ear. “How many times has your lover gone elsewhere? How often does she seek pleasures from other people? That is what you worry on, is it not? That you would betray your friend?” The woman had seen Mouse’s thoughts, what was truly holding her back. It was...cute. And that kind of loyalty could certainly be useful. “Even after everything she has done, you still worry that it would upset her to know you’ve been with another?”

Mouse whined as her might-be lover threw the truth in her face, but she rolled her hips just the same, pressing herself against the auburn-haired demon's hand and hip with the faintest of moans, one hand coming to rest on top of the one holding her hip and the other traveling up to bury itself in the silky red-brown tresses she found. When her paramour asked her last question, however, condescending and amused, she pushed Mouse just the tiniest bit too far. Mouse's fingers hooked into claws and she raked the back of the taller woman's hand and arm- not enough to break the skin, but impossible to miss- and she writhed in the other woman's grasp, for all that she didn't deny the words or pull away, and if she were being honest she could do neither. "Is that so wrong?" Mouse snapped, her voice low and hoarse. "It might hurt her. She's my friend. I worry." Mentally she added, but not enough to stop right now, but had better sense than to say it out loud.

The woman’s previous smile returned, growing, this time, into a grin at Mouse’s reactions. “Someone as flippant as she?” There was a deep chuckle, and lips brushed lightly over the Russian’s neck. “But, I suppose that loyalty is part of what she likes so much about you.”

Mouse's gasp was high and girlish and possessed of none of her usual reserve when her nameless lover brushed her neck with lips that were too hot, too soft, too perfect to be merely human. The passing kiss was like the rest of the dream, almost unreal and with an impact far greater than such a small thing should have. Mouse's resistance, her resolve to stay chaste except for when Col demanded her attentions, crumbled, and she moaned through her nose. She blushed once more, the statement of loyalty ringing in her ears against what she wanted, but after six long years, she had finally lost the battle against herself. She turned in the gentle grasp of the woman behind her, bringing them face to face and acutely aware of how the thin dress was all that lay between her and her eldritch partner and tilted her head up, breathing, "Please..."

The woman smiled seductively, the hand that had previously been at Mouse's waist now tracing fingers over her stomach, the other lightly placing itself at the back of her neck as she leaned down, once again closing the distance between their lips to a mere inch. “And what will you do, dear Myshka? You have said many things to me, but done little. What will you choose to do?”

"I'm scared..." Mouse breathed, then bit her lip. She couldn't cast her eyes down as she normally would when embarrassed, not with Tanith's hand on the back of her neck, and looking down only drew her eyes to the plush, scarlet bow of the auburn-haired spirit's mouth. Those perfect, rose petal-soft lips curled up again, a sort of sardonic amusement that was nonetheless gentle, and Mouse's breath went ragged as they drew closer.

Mouse couldn't say what broke the last barriers of her resolve. Perhaps it was that she considered Colibri and all they had- and hadn't- shared, and how she felt after every time together. Perhaps it was the simple touch of a hand that offered much and asked nothing, gliding across her stomach or gripping the back of her neck. Maybe it was the challenge in the other woman's words, for Mouse had always found it hard to back down. If she was being honest, however, she would have to admit that no matter what had brought her to this point, it was the simple feeling of being wanted that pushed her off the edge.

Mouse stepped into the other woman. Her head tilted back, pressing against the hand at the nape of her neck and her arms came up to encircle the gloriously nude, inhumanly-perfect woman before her, her hands settling at the small of the other woman's back and between her shoulderblades, and her lips rose to meet her lover's. The kiss was gentle and tentative, more appropriate to a blushing schoolgirl than the thoroughly debased ex-slave and sometimes-lover that Mouse was in the waking world, but it was no less heartfelt for its awkwardness, and her eyes drifted closed as she lost herself in the feeling of her lover's skin, the taste of her mouth and the smell of her hair, and when it finally broke, Mouse wore a wicked little smile of her own.

The stranger said nothing, only returning the smile. And then she was leaning back in for a deeper kiss, the hand at Mouse's stomach slipping around to her hip. Her tongue brushed over the Russian's lips, requesting.

As the kiss deepened, the woman slowly began walking backwards, pulling the other with her gently. When she felt Mouse was keeping pace with her well enough, the hand at her hip was removed to wave briefly before returning. They moved a few more steps, then the kiss was broken as the woman sat down on a bed that had not been there before, pure white sheets fluttering in the breeze, bronze metalwork making up the frame and foot and head boards that shone in the sunlight.

Mouse stopped dead as the sudden appearance of the bed managed to penetrate the heady fog of lust and nervousness. She blinked slowly as she beheld a bed that was like something out of a storybook, different from the cots and bunks and chains where she'd spent most of her life by far. Mouse didn't have time to consider its appearance, however. Her concentration was broken by a touch at her waist, under the thin white dress this time, and Mouse returned her attention to her lover. She was nervous again, but nothing in the other woman's face spoke of impatience or derision at her slowness or her nerves.

Carefully, tentatively, Mouse grasped the fluttering edges of the short white dress and raised it up, pulling it up and off, thankful that the gauzy material hid her face as the woman got her first well-lit look at Mouse's lean, pale form. She pulled the dress over her head and let it dangle for a moment from her hand, facing the woman and trying very hard not to appear terrified. She failed, but neither did she turn away or try to cover herself, and when no laughter came, Mouse relaxed and let the dress fall.

Stepping forward, Mouse placed her hands on the gorgeous, golden-eyed woman's bare shoulders lightly and leaned down, finding and capturing her lips in another kiss. This time, it was Mouse's tongue that went a-seeking, circling the inner edge of the other woman's lips before pushing into her mouth, and she slid across the woman's lap, her knees to either side of the woman's hips, her compact, toned ass resting on the woman's thighs.

The nameless lover took a moment to admire the form before her before she was kissed again, her lips already slightly parted when Mouse pressed in, and she hungrily welcomed her. Slender hands slipped down the Russian woman's sides. They traveled all the way down to her thighs, and then back up to her hips. One hand continued upwards, once again coming to rest at the back of Mouse's neck while the other slithered over the curve of the other's backside and continued under and in between. Delicate fingers played over lip and clit, dipping briefly into the slick moisture already forming.

The woman's lips moved downward at the same time, making their way to Mouse's chest and capturing a nipple between supple lips to be nipped and flicked and teased by an expert mouth.

Mouse gasped girlishly and her nails dug into her unnamed lover's shoulders. She arched her back against the other woman, pressing her breast against the red-haired beauty's teasing lips, and her hips rocked back and forth in small, insistent motions as Mouse rubbed herself shamelessly against the teasing fingertips. Her skin was flush with warmth, beads of sweat breaking out on her temples and the line of her spine despite the breeze and her hair fluttered around her head and shoulders in a silvery cascade.

Fel, barely a touch and a nip and a kiss and she was ready to do anything this woman asked of her.

The realization that her long, silent, self-imposed chastity was finally over emboldened Mouse rather than saddening her as it might have at any other time, and one hand rose from the woman's shoulder to tangle itself in her soft mass of red-brown hair. Mouse grabbed a fistful of the gorgeous locks and pulled, not hard but insistently, forcing the woman beneath her to tilt her head up toward Mouse. Mouse met her for another kiss and this one was not nearly so tentative. It was a searing, passionate thing, the opening of Mouse's repayment to herself for six years' crushing loneliness, and Mouse threw herself into it with abandon, cupping the other woman's face in her palms, her fingertips tracing the lobes of the other woman's ear and the line of her jaw as Mouse pushed her tongue deep into her lover's mouth.

A light moan uttered from the strange woman's throat at the sudden show of passion and enthusiasm as she returned the kiss in kind.

The play of her fingers became more harsh; pressing, rubbing, now, instead of the teasing brushes. She allowed Mouse to enjoy the sensations for a moment before turning them over, laying the silver-haired Russian on her back onto the soft mattress and silken sheets. The woman loomed over her a moment, her lips pulling into an amused and sultry smirk as her long, full hair draped over them.

She had begun to dip back down to assault Mouse's neck when she paused. She stayed still, for a moment, then lifted her body again and tilted her head with a thoughtful expression as if looking at, or listening to, something above them.

The woman smirked, then, a wicked and knowing look before it shifted back to a more pleasant smile as she returned her attention to the woman below her. “I'm afraid we will have to continue this another time,” she said softly, a hand brushing gently over the side of Mouse's face and cheek. “There is another who desires your presence.” She leaned down to kiss Mouse's eyelid, forcing her to close her eyes for a brief moment.

When Mouse opened them again, she was back in her cabin on the ship. Awake.

Mouse awoke disoriented, confused, and incredibly aroused.

Consciousness came back in a rush, a flood rather than the slow trickle that was her normal waking process. She was acutely aware of the heat of her skin, the rough feel of the deep carpet on the small of her back where her shirt had ridden up, the soft cotton against the diamond-hard tips of her breasts, and the copious, shameful wetness between her legs. Her hand was buried in her soft cotton shorts, one finger resting on the swollen nub of her clit with only a thin layer of silk- her panties were her one conceit to femininity- between her fingertip and the pearl of her pleasure, and the material was soaked with her arousal.

[Colibri]

Colibri, in truth, had woken a while ago. Mouse had still been sleeping, and so she had shakily wandered out of the room to her own cabin for a shower, some fresh underwear, and a hit or two to calm her post-sleep nerves. Though not particularly in that order.

She had thought about wandering off and finding something to keep her occupied somewhere in the ship, but her thoughts returned to what had happened yesterday...or last night...or whatever time it was any more. She felt horrible for striking her friend, not having exactly had all her faculties at that moment. Not that she wasn't still a little miffed that Mouse had gone that far...but still.

So Col headed back to Mouse's cabin, slipping in silently as not to wake the Russian who was now moaning and twisting in her covers. Another nightmare, the redhead thought offhandedly, climbing up onto the bed and sitting in an odd butterfly fashion in the middle of the mattress, her toes curling in and around each other as she picked at the skin of her knuckles sheepishly, awaiting the other's consciousness.

However, it took her a moment to realize exactly what was happening. Blue eyes finally left her own hands to look over the side of the bed at her friend, only to widen at the sight before her. What in the worlds? The sight was hot and obscene, so unlike her usual quiet, reserved little Mouse. Was she awake and just getting off? No, she was just laying there, now.

Colibri watched in a strange wonder as the silver-haired woman came back to the present, uncertain exactly what she should do. So...she'd been having a dream? It wasn't like neither of them had never had a sex dream before, but she had never known either of theirs, especially Mouse's, to have had this sort of effect.

Her eyes were unfocused at first, but she blinked away the stunned arousal enough to look around the room, only reluctantly withdrawing her hand from between her legs. She breathed heavily, almost panting, and her slender torso heaved as she tried to slow her pounding heart.

Then she saw Colibri, half-naked, awake, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching her with surprise and interest.

Mouse's cheeks heated in truth rather than dream and her breath caught in her throat, but her lips curved up in a most un-Mouse-like wicked little smile. She liked the coral bow of her lips, moving her body through a slow arch, a motion starting at her neck and ending at her calves that drew the eye to breasts stomach, hips, and thighs, her eyes never leaving Colibri's.

“Hello, solnyshko.” Mouse purred. “Like what you see?”

Her brows shot up at the words and rolling motion of Mouse's body when she finally fully came to, and she began to move forward to join her on the floor, but stopped. Conflicting emotions flitted across her features as she tried to decide. Something was...off. This wasn't exactly like Mouse. Not that she minded, of course, but her entire state of mind and reasoning for coming back in to these quarters had been completely derailed, throwing her off kilter. Finally, she decided on an uncertain quizzical look as she leaned more toward the edge of the bed, “You ok, Babe?”

Mouse's smile widened. "Oh, baby..." she half-moaned. "I could be better, sweetling, I could be better." She flowed up to her knees, her legs spread enough that her tight, short shorts clung to her every line and curve. The cotton was damp already, and it showed, but Mouse paid it no mind. She braced her hands on the edge of the bed, only a few centimeters from Colibri's knees and tossed her head, her hair shimmering in a steel wave. Her nipples thrust against the tight, thin top, and her lips glistened as she met Colibri's eyes.

"Whatsamatter, malysh?" Mouse asked playfully. "Am I making you..." Her hand dipped down to caress between her legs, "...uncomfortable?" Her libido was out of control, completely bypassing her conscious mind. There was a small part of Mouse that was screaming her denial, crying out against taking advantage of or manipulating or even confessing her feelings to Colibri. But the larger part of her, the part of her touched and fueled and caressed by her unnamed lover was in control, and that part of her wanted to fuck, wanted to kiss and touch and lick and ravish.

Reaching out, Mouse put her hands on Colibri's thighs, her eyes bright and wild, and for once she didn't shy away or shield her gaze. "C'mon, solnyshko," she breathed, "isn't this what you want? Someone as wild as you, someone who doesn't want anything but a scream and a gush and a cry and a few nail marks?" She stroked Colibri's thighs. "C'mon, baby, I'm so ready for you..."

Colibri watched in a hazed wonder, her breath becoming heavier and quicker even as she watched and listened to her friend. She had no idea what had come over Mouse, but really, she didn't care.

She shivered with the hands on her thighs, her muscles tensing as a rubber band ready to snap under the burning touch. And, finally, snap she did, hands flashing out to grasp the base of Mouse's neck, fingers curling harshly in her hair as she pulled her up into a heated kiss, tongue thrusting into the lusty Russian's mouth greedily with a groan.

Mouse let this kiss run for a moment, her tongue dueling with Colibri's long enough for her to taste the stardust, the recycled air, the alcohol on Colibri's tongue. She let her tongue rove inside Col's mouth, exploring and pushing and finding Colibri's tongue with her own before pulling away with a positively sexual grin, an expression that promised a hundred pleasures, each more depraved than the last.

Reaching up, Mouse grabbed Colibri's wrists and gently disengaged the slim redhead's hands from her hair before going on the offensive, throwing Col's arms out to either side. She rose up on her thighs, of a height with Colibri and bore down, pushing her sometimes-lover to the bed, pinning her wrists and hovering a handspan away from Colibri's mouth and her swanlike, vulnerable throat.

"You want this, don't you?" Breathed Mouse. "You want me to take you. Its what you've always wanted, a fuck buddy, someone you can please and submit to and control without fearing what I'm going to do when you leave the room, what I'm going to think in the middle of the night." She pressed Col's wrists to the bed and lowered her mouth to Col's neck, licking and nipping and sucking at Col's naked flesh as she traced a pattern down. "All these years, and all you had to do was ask..."

Col's eyes widened in shock when she was pushed to the bed, her wrists pinned. But she quickly recovered, giving a visible shudder as she arched pleasantly. A leg came up to brush over Mouse's thigh as her head tilted up and to the side, welcoming any attentions to her neck that the silver-haired nymph wished to give. “Fuck yes,” she breathed.

Whatever Mouse had been dreaming about, Colibri wished she'd do it more often. She had never seen this side of her friend, at least never to this extent...but she loved it. Gods did she love it.

"Gooooood girl..." Mouse breathed. "Will you be good and stay here if I let you go?" She asked playfully. Her hands gripped tight and then relaxed, letting Colibri absorb the position she was in as her own slim fingers glided up Colibri's arms to her breasts. Mouse was upright again, her powerful thighs flexing, holding her in a semi-standing position despite bending over Colibri, and her thumbs and forefingers tweaked Colibri's nipples as she grinned maliciously.

"Just relax, kitten." Mouse told Colibri. "I promise I won't hurt you." She bent down to kiss the hollow of Colibri's throat, then began tracing a line down Colibri's torso. Her mouth was hot, too hot, almost burning where her lips touched Col's naked skin, and there was a sharp scratching accompanying each kiss as she made her way south before she looked up the length of Colibri's body and grinned. "I won't hurt you, much..."

Mouse's head dipped, kissing Colibri's inner thighs, sucking hard enough to bruise and grazing Colibri gently with her teeth before switching sides and repeating the process. She stared up Col's body again, watching her arousal build and when she saw Col's hands twitch she cooed, "Ah ah ah, now now kitten." she dropped a kiss squarely between Colibri's thighs before breathing, "Just relax. I'd hate to have to take more...drastic measures."

Col's hands gripped the sheets above her, dutifully keeping her arms in place for as long as she could, arching into the touches and lifting her knees to give Mouse more space between her legs. She gave a lusty moan when her thigh was sucked and bitten, taking a moment to shiver and pant as she recovered from the sweet sting when the other released her flesh, only to moan again as the other side received the same treatment.

She wanted...she wanted...

But Mouse's warning voice stopped her hands from sliding down, and she bit her lip in delicious frustration with a groan, her hips rolling, wanting more.

“Mouse, please~”

Mouse sighed theatrically, grinning all the while. She straightened, running her hands down Colibri's naked flanks, her nails digging thin white lines in Colibri's soft, beautiful skin all the way to the points of her hips. Grinning, Mouse told Colibri, "you can fight me if you want to. You'll lose, but you can try." With that wicked pronouncement, Mouse gripped Colibri's knees and pushed them apart, spreading her legs as far as they would move without causing Colibri actual pain.

Mouse took Colibri's leg in her hands and raised it high above her friend's supine form, kissing the arch of Col's foot and slowly working her way down, tracing a line of burning touches of lips and tongue and teeth down Colibri's legs. One hand kept a firm hold of Colibri's leg, but her other roved where it would, clawing lightly at Colibri's stomach, thighs, and hips, before tracing the outer edges of Col's lower lips with a single nail, Mouse smiling wickedly all the while as she worked her way down, kiss by agonizingly slow kiss.

Mouse was barely a finger's breadth away from her tongue finding Col's clit before she stopped and raised her head, grinning like a cat with the cream. "Promise me you're not going to fight me?" She asked playfully. "I'd hate to have to stop you, not when you're clearly getting so into this." Her hands traveled inward, sliding under and gripping Col's ass for emphasis. "Be honest, sweetie, you've wanted this for years. You don't want to make love to me like an equal. you want me to fuck you, don't you?"

Colibri twitched and writhed, her desire growing along with her anticipation as Mouse's mouth made its way down her leg. She gave a shuddering whine when the woman stopped short, teeth worrying her bottom lip harshly as her hands twisted in the sheets. Part of her wanted so badly to take over, to rise to Mouse's taunts, but another part couldn't stand to have this stop even for a moment. All of this coming from Mouse was so new. Watching her confident, seductive smirks, seeing her, for once, take charge, demand, control. She wanted more of this new Mouse.

“Yes! Please, Mouse, fuck me! Please!”

Mouse laughed, a sinister, wicked sound full of depraved promise. "That's my girl." She purred. "Needy, begging, wanting..." She kissed Colibri's thigh again and her chest heaved as she laughed again, a full-throated, purring sound. "Relax, kitten. You'll get what you so desire...eventually."

Mouse's hands rose up to grasp Colibri's ankles and force her legs out and back, Col's thighs pressing against her ribs, almost teasing the tips of her heaving breasts. With her legs forced back, Col was peculiarly vulnerable, the slick, swollen wetness of her on full display, ripe for Mouse's ministrations. Mouse grinned and lowered her head, teasing mouse with every inch of her descent, letting her hot breath tickle Colibri's wet, sensitive flesh for a long moment.

Finally, Mouse leaned down far enough to taste her lover, and her first motion was a long, slow lap, teasing her flesh from just below her slit all the way to her painfully-sensitive clit. Mouse moaned as her tongue traced the contours of Colibri's sex, and she made a show of savoring her lover's taste before going back for another pass, and then another. She deliberately paid no attention to Col's hands, letting her do what she may, ready to restrain her lover but saying nothing.

Colibri shivered as she was fully exposed, whimpering, twitching, bucking for more than just the teasing touches and breaths, though never moving to take control, herself. However, her hands did move to the sheets beside her instead of above, pulling and twisting them away from the edges of the mattress they had so neatly been tucked into in her beautiful torment.

She gasped when that molten tongue finally slicked over her neglected sex, eyes slipping closed and lips releasing a moan just with that one pass. Col gave another whine when the attentions stopped, looking back down to see what was keeping her lover, only to bite her lip again at the sight. Mouse was enjoying her, savoring, and Colibri let go another needy sound with the next pass, and the next, hips rolling up as best they could in their pinned position into the attentions of her lover.

Mouse laughed again, low, slow, a sound charged with anticipation and excitement rather than amusement. She was enjoying herself, taking pleasure in Col for the sake of the act rather than in Col's happiness for the first time in a long time. Still holding Col's knees to her chest, Mouse licked her again, once, twice, a third time. each pass was accompanied by moans of pleasure and the lewd, wet sounds of Mouse's mouth on Colibri, the gunmetal-haired woman making the act as sensually obscene as possible.

When she finally rose up, Mouse's chin was slicked with Col's pleasure and her lips curved up in a cheshire's smile. She slid up Col's body, finally releasing Col's legs to wrap around her so that she could slide her hands up Colibri's sides to her shoulders and pin the redhead to the bed as Mouse slowly dragged her gamine form along Col's naked flesh before kissing her deeply, letting the impulsive gunslinger taste herself on Mouse's lips. Mouse's hands, still on Co's shoulders, curled inward and Mouse dragged them down, raking her nails from breast to hip down Col's sides before gripping her thighs, pulling Col's legs around her and pushing her hips against Cols in a futile motion of raw desire.

Colibri dove into the kiss hungrily, moaning at the feel and the taste, fingers burying themselves in Mouse's hair, trying to pull her in closer, her legs wrapping, thighs gripping, wanting to feel every bit of her lover that she could. She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as those fingernails raked down her torso, her back arching, body squirming. She let go a whimpering moan as Mouse ground against her, hips rolling right along with her lover's, wishing for more, wanting more. “Fuck...Mouse, please!” She breathed between heavy breaths.

Mouse laughed again, cruelly this time. She kissed Colibri's neck, her fingernails scratching harshly at the points of Colibri's hips. "Please what?" She breathed, chuckling through her nose. "Please lick you? Please treat you like a needy slut? Please hurt you more? Please get on my knees and worship you like the goddess that you are?" Mouse's smile was hard-edged and vicious but not cruel or mocking, bright and chill but like a gem rather than a blade.

"Aright, solnyshko," Mouse murmured, "if it will make you happy..." she trailed off suggestively and pressed her lips to Col's again, grinding her hips against Col's, the fleeting wet-on-wet touches of their skin only fueling Mouse's need to take her friend in every way she possibly could. Mouse arched against Col, a monstrous pressure growing behind her navel. Her skin prickled with warmth and she positively ached to keep exploring her newfound wantonness with Colibri.

But first...

Mouse slid back down Colibri's body, all pretense of restraint gone. She gripped Col's knees again, forcing them back with painful haste in her rush to put her tongue back where it belonged, and while her passes were just as long as before, each lick and and nibble and flick carried an urgency Col had never known from Mouse. She didn't just want Colibri to cum, she needed her to, needed the mutual pleasure and the validation of her new confidence and desires, and that spurred her on to new heights. She moaned and purred and gasped and mewled as she licked Col, tracing the edges of her lips, swirling the stiffened tip of her tongue around Col's clit, forcing her tongue into Col as far as the other woman's clenching muscles would allow, never stopping, never letting up, spurring Colibri toward orgasm with reckless abandon.

“Yes!” Colibri breathed, though even she wasn't entirely sure as to which question she was answering. “Yes! Please! Don't stop!”

She pressed into the kiss with a mewl, her body shivering as Mouse moved back down. Col gave a grunt with the rough treatment of her legs, though it was hardly a sound of discomfort, and it was quickly followed by another moan. Those sounds grew in intensity as Mouse continued to flick and tease and lick, gaining particular volume when her tongue was thrust inside.

Colibri moaned, and cursed, and begged, and writhed, completely lost in ecstasy like she had rarely ever been. Her hands roamed over her own body, gripping her own breasts, sliding down the sheets, up to the base of her thighs to spread herself further, fingers scratching up her sides. Mouse knew all her sweet spots, and was attacking them without the usual hesitation, and it wasn't long before Col was arching harshly, screaming out her release as her entire body quaked.

Mouse shivered in pleasure as Colibri came, exulting in her hummingbird's pleasure, but she didn't spare the time to even so much as smile. She rode the hard, involuntary motions of Col's body alongside her friend, never letting up. Her own body was aflame, painfully sensitive now, and every motion, every brush of the sheets against her nipples, every push of Colibri's lips against her mouth or caress of Col's heated skin against hers was nearly painful in its intensity. Mouse's every impulse cried out for her to touch herself or climb up on the bed with Colibri and take her pleasure from her screaming lover, but she wouldn't, not yet. In half a decade of being Colibri's reluctant lover, she had often satisfied the passionate redhead, but she had never sated her, not truly.

No more.

Mouse didn't try to control her own desires, or even ignore them. She let them build, reveling in the unsatisfied ache between her legs, the prickling of too-warm skin, the vulnerable feeling of being on her knees, exposed and utterly subservient to Colibri's pleasure for all that she was setting the pace, and she let those feelings drive her, burning away inhibitions and fears that had held her back and held her down for too, too damned long. Her time would come, but not yet.

Mouse's hands slid down Colibri's thighs from where they had pinned her long legs back, and her fingers brushed lightly against Col's when the other woman tried to spread herself further for Mouse's probing tongue. On impulse, Mouse grabbed Col's hands and buried them in her silken tresses, urging Col to pull and hold and force her head against Colibri's flesh. All the while, Mouse's mouth kept working, lapping up the gush of new wetness as Colibri orgasmed, slowing her pace and opting or lighter, more teasing caresses of soft lips and long tongue, but she didn't stop. She wouldn't, couldn't stop now. The dam had been broken, and Mouse wouldn't stop until Colibri could be pushed no further.

Mouse waited until Col had started to relax, listening as her screams became less strident and her motions less extreme before starting up again. This time, Mouse took her time. Her licks were slow and pronounced, forceful and deep and long but not hasty, and nibbles and kisses gave way to suckling and slowly-building love bites. Her hands caressed Colibri's body in long, languorous motions, traveling up her slender legs and gently-flared hips to dance along her ribs before grasping her breasts, kneading and rolling them gently before pinching and tweaking and flicking at her nipples. Mouse made sure to intersperse her kisses and slow licks with moans and little cries and the wet, obscene sounds of her mouth against Colibri, making no secret of how much she was enjoying the unrestrained, uninhibited sex, or how far it was from their usual encounters.

Colibri lay there, panting as she recovered, strands of her short red hair, now utterly a mess, clinging to her face from sweat. Pale arms now lay limp in an odd halo around her head, the sheets bunched and twisted in her wake, exposing corners and edges of the mattress.

She gave a soft grunt as she felt the first pass of the next round of Mouse's ministrations, eyes fluttering open with a confused look as her gaze shifted once again to the woman between her legs. Hips shifted slightly, and another light sound hummed through her nose. The redhead continued to watch for a moment, enjoying the feel, but still holding a lingering confusion.

“Mouse...you d-” she was cut off by a light gasp as her friend's tongue hit her just right, and she decided what she had been about to say really wasn't all that important. If Mouse wanted to continue, she certainly wasn't going to complain. The muscles of her abs, arms and legs ached, but the silver-haired Russian's motions were just enough to keep her interested...and building that heat again.

Col let out a breath, eyes slipping closed as Mouse's hands made their way up to her chest, her own hands sliding down and laying on top her friend's, joining in the rolling massages the other was performing. There was a light whimper and her torso twisted slightly when fingers pinched and tweaked, trying to get away from the more harsh sensations. The same ones that had spurred her on before had become just a little too much, now that her previous high had worn down to a pleasant buzz, one that Mouse was quickly increasing.

Mouse stopped just long enough to laugh prettily, her voice rich and smoky with shared desire, and her grey eyes flashed in the dimness, oddly bright as she lifted her head to meet Col's gaze and licked her lips with obvious relish. She held Colibri's gaze as her hands traveled down, obliging Colibri's unspoken protests against the rough treatment of her breasts and instead describing a winding path down to Col's inner thighs. A touch, a light slap, a slow caress with a single tongue-wetted fingertip, and Mouse's fingers slipped inside Colibri, drawing a slow smile at the sudden gasp her motion drew, and a small moan at the velvet-vice feeling over her friend.

Then Mouse lowered her head again, her tongue joining her fingers in her work. The slow build-up was gone, Mouse keeping just enough control to make sure that she didn't push Col too fast as she played a delicate balancing game between discomfort and pleasure, pushing Col to a more savage and ragged-edged orgasm than Col was used to having at Mouse's hands.

Colibri moaned when the fingers pushed inside her, her hands coming down to entangle themselves in Mouse's hair. Yes, that's what she'd wanted. Something inside her, filling her, pushing her further.

Mouse continued tirelessly. Teasing, licking, pushing. Not stopping until Colibri was crying out once again in orgasm. There was a short moment when Col began to recover once more, only to feel her friend beginning another round.

By this time, the touches were painful, and Colibri closed her legs, shifting her body away. “Mouse, s-stop. I can't take any more,” Col, for once, was exhausted. Though, it was strange, even with others that had managed to wear her out before hadn't gotten her quite this beat. “What's gotten into you?” She asked, though her words were accompanied by a light chuckle and amused smile, “Not that I mind, of course,” she added, her tired smile taking on a hint of a smirk.

Mouse straightened, breathing heavily but looking immensely pleased with herself and sank back to sit on her heels. She hadn't realized she was sweating, but now she noticed the thin cotton nightshirt sticking to her skin and she peeled it off and tossed it aside while she considered her answer.

What had gotten into her?

Mouse frowned, suddenly unsettled. She remembered the dream, the woman, the talking and touching, but that couldn't be it. Or rather, that couldn't just be it. Losing control was so unlike her, especially where Colibri was concerned. Except when Col's life was in danger, Mouse had always been able to trust herself around Col.

Laughter. Slow, deep, rich, alive, infinite. A feeling of amusement, and a flash of golden eyes and an ivory smile in red-tinged darkness.

Mouse felt the woman in her mind, watching, amused but content to sit back and refrain from action for a moment, and Mouse looked up at Colibri, her grey eyes hooded. "I've just been...thinking, I guess." She touched Col's knee fondly. "About you, and about us. We're good friends, we're always there for one another, but I know you leave in the middle of the night and you know I always stay up after these little interludes and think." She shrugged. "I don't know. Its like, we can rely on each other for anything, can't we? Except sex. I know I'm always your second choice." She shrugged again, a small, half-hearted motion. "I guess I got tired of holding myself back with you. I wanted to see if I could be as good as your other lovers."

Col sat herself up as her friend spoke, and she felt her stomach beginning to tighten at what she was hearing, the sweat on her skin suddenly feeling much cooler than it should have. It was close...dangerously close, to something she had dreaded hearing from her friend for a long time.

No. Nonono. This wasn't happening. This couldn't happen. Not with Mouse.

“Mnh,” came the neutral and uncomfortable response, blue eyes suddenly averting, the smile forced. “Well...” she began, rubbing the back of her neck harshly with her hand, “you definitely wore me out. So...yeah...I'd say so.”

Mouse watched Colibri intently. She'd long turned reading Col's words and gestures into an art form, and she saw everything Col wasn't saying. The anticipation, the dread, the sick loathing of even the idea of what Mouse had been so close to confessing...

Colibri was afraid of being loved by her.

And Mouse, damning herself for every word running through her silver-crowned head, was going to let it go.

She loved Colibri, more than anything. She would do anything Colibri ever asked of her, even die for her, without a single word to the contrary. She wanted to laugh, to curse, to spit and cry and howl in anger and grief as she realized that "anything" was going to have to grow to include never, ever taking that last step. Not for her, but for Colibri. She had no right to take away the last thing that provided Col with any sort of stability.

No matter what it cost her.

Mouse just nodded. "I'm glad I could please you." She said softly. "Any time you want more, you always know where to find me, 'kay?" She patted Col's knee again, stroked the outer edge of her thigh and added, "If I'm your second choice, at least I can try to be a good one for you. For anything." She breathed out softly through her nose. In Russian, she muttered, "I think I liked it better when you were hitting me." Then she smiled, her expression at odds with her sentiments and unfolded, arching her back and stretching out her legs. "I think I'm going to head down to Marine country here in a bit. I need to work out and the Felicias could probably use a sparring partner they can beat on." She glanced about the cabin, then back at Col and asked, "Will you still be here when I'm done, or are you headed back to your cabin now?"

There wasn't much Russian Colibri understood, but she did manage to pick some up during her time as a slave in the Russian colonies. Neither she nor Mouse really knew how much she retained, and a lot of times it depended on her state of mind, but when her friend spoke in it this time, Col had managed to pick out a few key words. It took her a couple seconds, but Colibri pieced it together, and when she realized what her friend meant it suddenly felt like a knife had been thrust into her gut.

She gathered herself up into a ball, knees up with her forehead resting on them, one arm around her shins as the other dashed out to catch Mouse's wrist to keep her from going, just yet.

Col felt horrible. She had actually been intending to apologize. It had been the reason she had come back into Mouse's cabin in the first place, and she'd meant to do it once the other had woken up. Until...well, until she'd become so damn distracting. She had hoped to forget about it, to just let it be another bygone like so many other things in their relationship...but then Mouse had to go and bring it back up.

“Sorry...” came the whispered word, slightly muffled as it emanated out from between her chest and thighs, and her grip on Mouse's wrist tightened slightly.

Mouse froze as the hand tightened on her wrist, and she looked at it curiously, as if she couldn't believe it was there. Colibri never stopped her, not unless she was really, really hurting and sometimes not even then. She followed Colibri's pale arm up to the hunched, curled-in form of her friend, and her heart sank. She hadn't realized Colibri's broken Russian was good enough to understand her self-pitying comment, but it was clear that her thoughtless utterance had really hurt Colibri.

Slowly, Mouse sank back down to her knees. There was still a churning knot in her stomach and a stinging in her eyes, but however sad she might be about Colibri's rejection of her, Mouse was no more capable of leaving Colibri in pain than she was of telling Colibri exactly how she felt. Her feelings could wait a few minutes more.

Mouse carefully pried Colibri's fingers loose of her wrists, kneeling close enough to hold Col's hand in her own and she reached up to chivvy Col's other arm loose and grasp that hand as well. She squeezed Colibri's fingers gently and half-whispered, "No, hummingbird, don't apologize." She leaned forward to rest her forehead on Col's shins for a moment before she straightened and smiled ruefully. "I deserved it. I usually do, and I'm sorry."

Col shook her head, and though Mouse couldn't see her face, her hitched breathing gave a very good indication of the tears now staining her thighs. “I din'-hic- I din' mean ta-” Col was cut off by another hiccup and she ground her teeth in frustration at her own inability to speak. Miss Silvertongue herself--”could charm the habit off a nun”, Mouse had said—and yet she could never seem to say anything in times like this.

She hated this. Hated herself. Hated Mouse. Hated whatever bug had gotten into her friend to make her do those things.

Back and forth. Up and down.

From horrible pain caused by her only friend, hating her for it, to hating herself for hating her friend, to whatever crazy, amazing, wonderful thing had happened to her, to her near-confession, and then back again. It was too much. It was all too much. And what was more: Colibri was tired...again. She hated this.

Why couldn't this all just stop? Why couldn't they just go back to pretending like nothing was wrong? Could they go back? They had in the past, but right now it didn't feel like it, and “right now” was what Colibri had.

"Yes you did." Mouse corrected Col, not ungently. "Its okay, hum-" she stopped and closed her eyes against a hot surge in her eyes, and her breathing was strained and harsh for several seconds before she tried again. "Its okay, Colibri. I hurt you, and I shouldn't have. I was scared, and worried, and I didn't know what else to do." She squeezed Colibri's hands again, then let them go and sank back. "I didn't think. I hurt you. I...I do that a lot, don't I?"

Mouse listened to Colibri cry and fought the urge to sweep Col up in her arms and hold her until the crying stopped as she had dozens of times before. This time, Mouse knew, it would be different if she tried, and cause more harm than good. Talking, laughing it off, pretending, those were all Col's strengths. Mouse had taken her lead from Colibri for years, and now that she seemed to be the one hovering on the precipice of social disaster she didn't know what to do.

Mouse began to shake, and she released Col's fingers so that Colibri wouldn't feel her trembling. Better that Col hate her than worry about her and become even more conflicted. She'd fucked up so spectacularly already, she didn't need to make this any harder for her friend than she already had.

"I'm so sorry." Mouse breathed. "I really am. I didn't mean to..." she stopped and shook her head, as frustrated with her inability to speak without saying what Colibri didn't want to hear as Colibri was. Mouse shook her head, her grey tresses flying. "I should go." She whispered. She glanced at the nightstand, where the pill she'd left was still sitting. "Why don't you take the pill, Col?" She asked. "You'll go back to sleep, and when you wake up, this can all have been a bad dream." She sniffled once. "Would that be easier?"

Colibri's snuffles and hiccups slowed as she considered, only giving a nod after a moment in answer.

Yes. Yes, that would be much easier.

Sleep.

And then when she woke up, everything could go back to normal.

This was how it was supposed to be.

Mouse's hopes were fragile, tenuous, fledgling things. She'd held herself together through pain and horror and heartache for her entire adult life with the quiet promise to herself that one day, she'd take that last step, take that one chance. She'd fantasized over and over again about telling Colibri how she'd felt, since she was sixteen, dreamed of how it would feel to let Colibri know that she was loved, that Mouse loved her and that she would always be there, always protect her and care for her and serve her and love her. She had dreamed of Colibri's smile, of her own, of that first searing kiss once she'd plucked up her courage and been accepted by the only person she'd ever cared about. That was how this was supposed to end.

Colibri nodded, and those hopes died.

Mouse's eyes began to stream, but she made no sound, not even a ragged breath. There was a certain serenity in the abandonment of her dream, and though tears poured down her face, she sounded perfectly calm, and there was no hesitation or shaking in her movements as she leaned over to pluck the pill and the bottle of water from the nightstand and press them into Colibri's hands. "Here." She said calmly. "Take this and feel better." She leaned forward as if to kiss Colibri's knee, then stopped, shook her head minutely, and rose.

Padding over to the dresser, she pulled out a grey bodyglove and began to pull it on over her rapidly-drying skin, not looking at Colibri as she dressed and tied her hair back. She found her boots by touch, concentrating on the picture of the two of them on Iris, two years ago, that sat on the top of the dresser as she fought the urge to empty a magazine through the laughing, smiling faces of the two women in the picture that might have been strangers, so removed from today were they.

Mouse wiped her eyes, then sat on the edge of the bed to pull on her boots, and only then did she look at Col. She had no words, none except for the three that Col would rather die than hear.

Colibri had lifted her head, chin and lips now resting on her knees as she stared blankly at the little, blue pill, rolling it between thumb and forefinger. Teeth and tongue played with the skin of her knee idly, and there seemed to be an eerie, disquieting calm about her, now, her tears and sobbing having stopped some time during Mouse's endeavor to get dressed.

“Everyone died.” She said, her tone strangely light, especially considering both the words and her previously emotion-wracked state. “Everyone's dead.” Col turned her head sideways, now laying her temple and cheek against her knee, her focus entirely on the rolling, blue pill. “They've all left....I can't...I can't let it happen...again. Won't be alone...again.”

There was a moment more while she stared at the pill. Then, its movement stopped, there was a pause, and then she was unfolding, placing the pill and water bottle on the bed as she stood. She said nothing, didn't even look at Mouse, and walked out the door.

Mouse watched Colibri go, watched the door shut on the last six years of her life. By not taking the out Mouse had offered, Colibri had just closed the book on more than half a decade of their lives together, and Mouse knew that they would never be quite the same again.

Mouse stared at the pill, at the water bottle, at the tear stains on the sheets that- for once- weren't her own. She looked across the room at the pistol hanging in its holster, and she could imagine the feel of the cold metal as she pressed it to her temple, hear the double-click if she thumbed back the hammer, feel the tension under her finger as she started the motion that would end it all.

Then, very calmly, Mouse stood and finished dressing.

She wouldn't let Colibri be alone. Not ever. No matter the cost. She would always be there, even if it had to be at some far remove. She would always serve, always champion, always protect. She would find a way.

She would help Colibri. Now, tomorrow, always. She would find a way.